Real patents

This could save lives
Toilet Snorkel
But do you really want to have to break the glass on the toilet snorkel and fish it through the toilet to breathe poo air, or try to exit the building in a safe manner.

Smell This
Someone has managed to invent a...cup. wow brilliant you made a plastic cup.

For transporting a fine imported cuban...banana (bananas, go go bananas)
Banana Suitcase

This is just cruel
Bird Trap Cat Feeder